My Personal Testimony - 我的個人見証

我是張樹德, 從小我的性格都很孤僻, 能夠談上心事的朋友是聊聊可數. 每當有團體的活動都沒有人來邀請我去參加, 我就仿如一個孤島, 無人問津. 我冰冷地喊著說 : 我是一塊石頭, 我是一個孤島.

美國的歌手Paul Simon曾經說:
「我要築起圍牆,
我不需要友誼, 友誼帶來痛苦…
我是一塊石頭, 我是一個孤島.
一塊石頭不會感到痛苦.
一個孤島不會哭泣. 」

在中學最後一年還未進入大學的暑假, 我踏出了離開孤僻的第一步 -- 我主動參加了香港救世軍中心主辦的暑期義工. 在這兩個多月裡, 我結交了一班參加義工的新朋友.我們一起主辦兒童活動, 清潔公園等等. 這經驗讓我初嚐真誠的友誼, 至今仍是瀝瀝在目. 我感覺到友誼所帶來的喜樂.

後來我一個人從香港來到美國中部的一個鄉村小鎮唸大學. 這裡很偏僻, 我這個在都市中長大的香港人,要面對在生活上和言語上很大的挑戰. 我舉目無親, 好像又回到心中的孤島. 第二年, 我結識了一些基督徒的同學. 他們慢慢地幫助我去接觸基督教. 我開始認識這位對我似乎陌生, 但又讓我感覺到衪存在的神.

每當我感到無力, 孤單, 徬徨的時候, 我這個遊子也曾向這位神呼求. 那時,我仍不是基督徒, 但心中有個意念, 就是「若人不能做的事, 這位神一定能夠做得到」. 但是當問題順利解決之後, 我自以為這都是因為自己的努力, 這位我曾經向祂呼求的神,已經被我丟在心中的角落, 被我遺忘了. 相反, 現在回想, 我知道神從來沒有忘記我.

大學畢業前那年的冬天, 我與朋友們第一次來到美國西部的「大峽谷」渡假. 我站在嚴峻的大峽谷邊緣, 心中充滿自信. 我想:「若是我努力不懈地去奮鬥, 我一定有飛黃騰達的一天」. 誰不知, 小小的我, 在宏偉的大峽谷相比之下, 實在太渺小了. 有時, 當我的心靜下來的時候, 我思想到那讓這深達千里的「大峽谷」從無變有的創造主. 我知道我的生命都是在祂指頭的掌管之下. 在那一刻, 神使我感受到祂的存在. 祂回到我空虛的心田裡.

後來, 我來到洛杉磯唸研究院, 主修工商管理和電腦. 當時, 我一心一意要開始我「淘金的美國夢」. 在我剛剛到達洛杉磯的第一天, 雖然人生路不熟, 我卻找到三位室友一同租兩個房間. 誰不知, 他們都是基督徒. 我一再肯定, 神從來沒有離開我.

有一個晚上, 我與我的室友聊天, 我們談天說地, 講到人生, 哲學, 宗教的問題. 他突然問我 : 「你想認識神嗎? 」 我告訴他我對神並不陌生, 而且我曾在天主教的中學唸書, 可是從來未有人向我傳福音和教我如何認識神. 他接著就打開聖經告訴我 : 「因為人犯了罪, 以致與神分開, 但藉著聖子耶穌在十字架上所流的寶血, 就能洗淨我心中的污穢, 只要我願意承認所犯的罪. 神是信實的, 是公義的, 祂必能赦免我的罪, 更成為神的兒女」. 我說我願意悔改, 接受耶穌作我生命的救主. 從那一刻, 我一直以來心中的孤僻和空虛, 就被主耶穌填滿了. 我不再是孤島.

成為基督徒之後, 我仍然努力去完成學業和工作. 但我的人生目標再不是「淘金的美國夢」. 我的價值觀不再是單為自己, 而是要藉著聖經(就是神的話語)去遵守神的教導. 在馬太福音第六章25至29節, 耶穌說 : 「不要為生命憂慮, 喫甚麼, 喝甚麼, 為身體憂慮穿甚麼. 生命不勝於飲食麼. 野地裡的百合花, 怎麼長起來. 它也不勞苦, 也不紡線, 然而我告訴你們, 就是所羅門極榮華的時候, 他所穿戴的還不如這花一朵呢? 」 . 我真正體會到人生的目的和意義.

我新的生命已經從孤島中走出來了. 主耶穌成為了我生命的力量和方向. 每當我感到徬徨的時候, 我可以向我的神禱告, 去尋求衪的幫助和指導. 更重要的是耶穌就是道路, 真理, 生命. 祂讓我能夠走上永生的路. 朋友, 我熱誠的希望你也能夠.

The Pleasures of God

Towards the end of our March 2008 bible study, my small group discussed the importance of living a life to please God. Sometimes, we say we are living to please God, but really, if we looked at the evidence (which never lies), we are frequently living our life to please ourselves.

Pleasing ourselves is what comes natural. It's our default instinct. Perhaps we live our life to please ourselves because we are unaware of what pleases the Lord.

To learn about the Master's Joy, you can either study the Bible, or read John Piper's book "The Pleasures of God".

In that book, Piper condensed down to this: God does just as He pleases. Yet this thesis opens a universe of implications and questions, some of which the author addresses in the book's ten chapters. They are titled:

1. The Pleasure of God in His Son
2. The Pleasure of God in All He Does
3. The Pleasure of God in His Creation
4. The Pleasure of God in His Fame
5. The Pleasure of God in Election
6. The Pleasure of God in Bruising the Son
7. The Pleasure of God in Doing Good to All Who Hope in Him
8. The Pleasure of God in the Prayers of the Upright
9. The Pleasure of God in Personal Obedience and Public Justice, and
10. The Pleasure of God in Concealing Himself from the Wise and Revealing Himself to Infants.

I found that this book stretched not only my mind but my soul. It will take you a while to journey through these 340 thoughtful pages, but it will be a journey you will long remember. Here are some of my additional thoughts, having read through the first 3 chapters so far.

If we love Him, we'll obey Him, right? He says to love Him with all my heart, and we can't do that if we don't want to find out how to live a life that brings Him glory, honor, and the Master's Joy. Sometimes we live to please ourselves even though we are aware that what we are doing is not pleasing to God.

Let's search our heart and invest our time to discover what exactly is the Master's Joy.

Actually, we should simply ask God directly what is pleasing to Him. I'll be interested in learning how you prayed and what you heard from Him.

Rekindle Our Smoldering Fire Inside

Recently I led a bible study on 2 Tim Chapter 1. Here are the answers to a few raised questions, as well as a reminder to practice discipleship during the next few weeks:

(1) Symbol of the Fish - The fish symbol was created using the Greek letters which spell out ICTHUS : Jesus Christ God's Son Saviour. ICTHUS also means fish - so the fish symbol was used when the early church was being persecuted. This was a secret sign scratched on the walls of buildings or drawn on the floor in the sand, to tell people where a Christian meeting was being held. It is still frequently used today.

(2) Life of Paul - Paul was born in Tarsus around 4 AD, and died in Rome around 68 AD.

(3) Laying Hands - This concerns the right of ordination, which is an official ceremony of 'commissioning' a pastor or other officer of the church as an act by which the responsibility of an office is passed on to an individual, affirming that his/her spiritual gifts are a good fit for the office.

(4) Rediscovery of the Strength of Our Spiritual Gift - As Paul reminded Timothy to apply the strength of his gifts to overcome his timidity, we too have the power from the Holy Spirit to exercise our clear conscience and sincere faith in God. Let us think of 10 items that we can act on to disciple a spiritually younger Christian. Pick the 1st priority item, and act on it everyday for the entire week. Then pick the 2nd priority item for the next week, and so on. If we can do that, I guarantee that our love and faith will grow substantially. I have selected a discipleship target. Have you?

Come Before Winter

The City of Franklin of Indiana was where I first had a close encounter of the white stuff from heaven. Though the winter was cold, the feeling was all the more cozy and warm - like holding a cup of hot apple cider in your hands under the nose. God's love has been keeping my heart warm. He left His Heart in me, just as I left mine in Franklin. One of these days, I'll return to this little town of priceless memory. God was good.

A Taste for Peace on Dec 22

Feeling special - leaving no one alone

Feeling hopeful - receiving a sincere blessing

Feeling plentiful - enjoying a sumptuous dinner

Feeling peaceful - sensing Jesus in the room

This Peace Unto You - What more can we ask for?